What is Sexual Experience
Sexual Experience As we glide together and slide over each other’s bodies I cannot tell which limbs are mine and which are his. I am in ecstasy. Every hair follicle on my body is sending the most exquisite signals to my brain! We are in a child’s blow up swimming pool and I have filled it with three cups of warm olive oil. My senses are overwhelmed yet the satiation feels so conscious, so complete.
That was five years ago (don’t expect those cheap, blow up pools to last after they’ve had oil in them!). But every time I think about that experience I have the same sensations I had when I was in the experience… Sexual Experience
Sexual Experience experience
Recent scientific research is beginning to investigate the relationships between experience and the memories of experience. Researchers are seeing that certain areas of the brain light up depending on the thoughts, actions and experiences of a person. Detailed maps of the brain now exist for the repeated patterns that we human’s experience. There are precise regions of the brain that light up when we see our child or grandchild. Everyone has similar patterns, with slight variations, that depend on how you feel about that child or grandchild. The rush of ‘love’ chemicals; dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, opiates and other neurotransmitters, fill our body and brain quickly to produce the incredible feelings of love and attachment that are involved in the profound moment when that child’s eyes light up upon seeing you and hugging you. Sexual Experience
l a very bad memory or Sexual Experience,
Like any event, if this series of actions happens a few times, the solidifying effect in your body/brain becomes codified and remains. If you come across a picture of that child, and the memory of the happy face and hug has the opportunity to become visceral, you can experience the same ‘rush’ though you may be sitting by yourself half way across the world. Sexual Experience The same exact regions of your brain are lighting up as they did when the real event happened. That’s why we can cry at the drop of a hat or smile when a simple, but fond memory, traces our mind. And we can experience even more physical manifestations during these memories too. You only have to recall a very bad memory or experience, to ‘feel’ it all over again in your body.
Our memories dictate how we will feel about a similar situation because our brain and body is coded from past experience. If you are a person who has had a series of unfortunate or ‘bad’ experiences with intimacy, relationship or sexuality, these memories are codified in your brain/body. You probably relate to them as ‘real’ and consider that they will always be a part of you. Sexual Experience Scientists are discovering that this isn’t true: our brains are much more ‘plastic’ than they ever understood. But how do we change our mind/body experiences, and memories of the experiences, so that we can have a fresher, more open outlook? How do we shift if we’re so plastic?
One of the tenants of neo-Tantra is just say ‘Yes’ to everything! While I actually don’t advocate for that, especially for beginners, I do believe that saying yes sometimes, with a calculated risk assessment, is a very good thing. When you say yes to something that is risky you are being brave and you are probably about to have an experience that will make a shift in your perspective, especially if you make the decision to go forward consciously. That shift has the potential to lead you out of a negative feedback loop and into a more balanced attitude about the past experiences that do not feel so good now. This takes courage to change. Find that courage in your relationship or within yourself. It’s a life-long practice.
Sexual Experience and ‘spirit’ manifest powerfully
Scientists are beginning to understand that it takes very little brain ‘re-wiring’ to make changes in our brains but the ‘little’ has to be pretty big to make the change. In other words, risk, boundary breaking and most importantly trust has to occur in order to make the profound changes that are needed. So, if you have had some not-so-pleasantSexual Experience with intimacy, or maybe reaching an orgasmic state, then a whole new way of approaching the situation may cause a break through to occur. Your brain/body can make a profound change for the better.
Many people have done this during experiences with skilled teachers, healers and workshop leaders in the neo-Tantra community. Sometimes it’s difficult and sometimes it happens easily. There’s no guarantee ever but one thing that is assured is that the door will open to the opportunity to see things differently; to understand that our brains, bodies and memories are not frozen in us but malleable and changeable. Old memories can be transformed and new ones can grow and nourish us more fully.
On a personal level, I believe that the mind, body and ‘spirit’ manifest powerfully within us. They work so tightly together that it is a small wonder that modern science hasn’t made more discoveries about their interconnectedness than it has in recent years. It makes me wonder if we will be able to keep up emotionally, educationally and rationally with many of these discoveries. Reading and studying about scientific breakthroughs is an important part of basic education and many of the current fascinating discoveries would help us right now with personal growth and evolution. Yet it takes years for many of these discoveries to come to light. Sexual Experience
I know that scientists like to have proven results, beyond a doubt, but in the fields of sexuality, spirituality, energy, quantum physics, meditation and neurology the many deductions that can be formed from the current science aren’t being expressed, and speculated on, as much as I would like to see. Maybe speculative ideas are going on behind closed doors, in the academic institutions doing research in these areas, but I would like to hear more about them in the coming future.
Pleasuring Me Pleasures You: Pleasure Fibers & Touch
Sexual Experience I love to swim. I love the water running past every inch of my skin, tickling the hair follicles as it passes over my alert and ready nerve endings. I dive into the pool outside my living room French doors and push off repeatedly to the surface from the bottom of the deep end. I experience the thrill it gives me as I push up from the bottom and break the surface. I focus my mind on the sensations the water makes streaming past every hair follicle on my body, over and over again. I am training my mind/body to more fully love the sensations I already know and love.
Very recent studies indicate that in addition to the regular nerves we have buried in our skin there are some new types that have been discovered. These unmyelinated, specialized nerve fibers, called C-tactile fibers, each cover about one square centimeter of skin. They are purely pleasure fibers and have a direct route to the brain. And, they send stronger signals than pain receptors. Yes, soft, erotic touch can relieve pain. Just think about the potential when you’re not in pain and seeking pleasure. Sexual Experience
Consider this fact: according to Dr. Daniel Amen, in his book Sex on The Brain, women are about ten times more sensitive to the great sensations of soft touch than men are. This means that you heterosexual fellows need to realize how starting slowly, with a lot of soft touch, can make a good evening into a great one. By repeatedly getting her juices flowing with liberal amounts of touching, caressing and nibbling you are helping her deliver the brain chemicals that then allow her body and brain to start sending them out prior to your touch in the future. When both of you understand this phenomena you can use it to your advantage. It’s a great feedback loop. She can use her mind to help get things going and you can use your touch to facilitate the experience. If you’re both on-board you can actually get to a place that requires less time to higher states of arousal. It’s all in the playful practice (like my pool exercises above)! Sexual Experience
Since your imagination is built on memories and your memories are built on Sexual Experience it is obvious you need to be creating new, positive experiences all the time. Touching one another is a very good place to start training your body and mind to receive Love Potion #9 — Oxytocin. Oxytocin, is the love and bonding neurotransmitter. It is released during orgasm, breastfeeding, childbirth, eye gazing, cuddling, touching and more. Science is discovering new ways we express it all the time.
One of the most intriguing things about giving touch is that if you follow one simple rule not only will the quality of the touching you give go way up, you’ll have a mindfulness practice that brings you pleasure, too. Here’s the rule: pay attention to your own fingertips. Practice soft, erotic fingertip to fingertip touching with your own two hands. Put your attention on how good Sexual Experience it feels by moving slowly and ever more erotically.
The next time you decide to give a soft, sensual massage, or simply touch your lover, pay deep attention to your own fingertips. Imagine that they are feeling outrageous and that it’s getting even better by the minute. Put your entire mind on your own, erotic fingertips. Feel them. Eroticize them. Your lover is going to go wild because this is a game that can only get better as it goes on. If your fingertips are feeling this good, then your lover is going to feel incredible. It is that simple.
This is a mindfulness practice. You’re getting triple duty here. You are training your mind, feeling incredible and your partner is getting one big, erotic experience. If you want to up the ante a little put a blindfold on the receiver. About 50% of our sense input comes from the eyes so if you eliminate the eyes you’re adding a lot of bandwidth to the other senses .Sexual Experience
The other great thing about the C-tactile fibers and erotic touch is that you can pleasure yourself. The consequences are actually incredible. Think about it. Unlike trying to tickle yourself, which doesn’t ever work, you can be your own pleasure-giver! You can train yourself to be ready and even primed for Sexual Experience. If you try the practice above solo I bet you could get yourself up to about a level 4 or 5 on a scale of 10 by breathing, imagining a past erotic scenario and softly running your own fingertips over your arms, thighs and neck. Sexual Experience
